Childfree by Choice in South Asia
Women all over the world are experiencing many of the same pressures that are influencing their decision to remain childfree: Finances, gender disparities in parenting, climate change, work-life balance (or the lack thereof).
Sarah Shamim reports on the phenomenon in South Asia:
“My decision to not have children is purely monetary,” says [Zuha Siddiqui].
[...] Like many young people in Pakistan, Siddiqui is deeply worried about the future and whether she will be able to afford a decent standard of living.
[...] “I feel like the generation before us saw it [the cost of raising children] as an investment in the kid. I personally don’t look at it that way,” [Mehreen, 33, who is from Karachi] says, explaining that many from the older generations saw having children as a way of providing themselves with financial security in the future – children would be expected to provide for their parents in old age. That won’t work for her generation, she says – not with the economic decline the country is undergoing.
Then there is the gender divide – another major issue where the younger generation differs from their parents.
Mehreen says she is keenly aware that there is a societal expectation for her to take the front seat in parenting, rather than her husband, despite the fact that both of them are earning money for the household. “It is a natural understanding that even though he would want to be an equal parent, he’s just not wired in this society to understand as much about parenting.
“My husband and I see ourselves as equal partners but do our respective mums see us as equal partners? Maybe not,” she says.
Besides money and domestic responsibilities, other factors have influenced Mehreen’s decision as well. “Obviously, I always think that the world is going to end anyway. Why bring a life into this messed-up world?” she says dryly.
One of the things all of these reports share in common is highlighting that women choosing to remain childfree are putting an enormous amount of thought into it — and not just how having kids would affect their lives, but what kind of lives they would be able to provide for any potential children.
When women are given the opportunity to control their own reproductive choices, they demonstrate time and again that, for most of us, the choice is anything but selfish.
Make no mistake: It's fine to choose not to have children for entirely selfish reasons! But contrary to popular narratives, that's rarely the (only) reason.
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