Seven Questions with Nicolette Landry
Welcome to Seven Questions — the Zero Kids Zero Regrets Interview Series!
In this edition, our editor-in-chief, Millie Lemmon, interviews our business manager, Nicolette Landry, about her life and experiences as a childfree woman. Nicolette is a 50-year-old cisgender woman who lives with her partner, two adorable dogs, and one amazing cat.
Millie: Hiya, Nic! Thanks so much for agreeing to do Seven Questions!
Nicolette: Thank you for asking me!
Millie: Are you ready to rock and roll?
Nicolette: Let it rip!
1. Did you decide to be childfree or was it a decision made for you? Tell us about that: Why, when, how?
Whole-heartedly my decision. From the time I was a child, I just knew it would never be a part of my world. I never enjoyed the babies in my extended family and never even played with baby dolls like my friends were doing. I was busy divorcing my Barbie from Ken and driving her to the city for a job interview.
I'm not even sure it was something I decided so much as just knew. My mom would say, "Oh, you'll change your mind when you get older." But that never happened for me. And, in fact, the older I get, the happier (and more relieved) I am in my childfree life!
2. Do you have a partner? If not, is that also by choice? If you do, how did you get on the same page? When do you think is the time to have that conversation with a partner?
I do have a lovely partner with whom I share my whole world. We got together in our mid-thirties so it was a topic that came up early in the relationship. He's an only child and I knew his mother would absolutely want to have a grandchild so I was a little nervous about it being a dealbreaker. But as we talked about it, it was clear that he would be open to children, but also if it was between me, or hypothetical kids, it would be me. And again, sixteen years on, we're super happy we are where we are given the state of the climate, healthcare being what it is (or more specifically, what it isn't), and the cost of higher ed. UGH, forget it! We just want to live out our lives doing what we want to do, and being grateful for our time together.
3. How does your family feel about your being childfree? Do you get any pushback?
I don't think anyone was surprised I never had children. As I said, from an early age I knew it wasn't my path and I was pretty outspoken about it. My brother and his ex-partner have four children together so that took the sting out for anyone needing a baby fix.
4. How does being childfree affect your friendships?
Almost all of my closest friends are childfree, so I would dare say my friendships are deeper and stronger than if we were all busy with kids. We're not sitting around talking about how tired we are, or struggling to find time to hang out because this one has this or that practice or recital. We regularly get together for hikes, BBQs, concerts, golf, whatever — and have regular meaningful conversations about life, travel, and politics. Now, do we complain about the odd backache, or menopause... yes. Yes, we do.
2. Do you have a partner? If not, is that also by choice? If you do, how did you get on the same page? When do you think is the time to have that conversation with a partner?
I do have a lovely partner with whom I share my whole world. We got together in our mid-thirties so it was a topic that came up early in the relationship. He's an only child and I knew his mother would absolutely want to have a grandchild so I was a little nervous about it being a dealbreaker. But as we talked about it, it was clear that he would be open to children, but also if it was between me, or hypothetical kids, it would be me. And again, sixteen years on, we're super happy we are where we are given the state of the climate, healthcare being what it is (or more specifically, what it isn't), and the cost of higher ed. UGH, forget it! We just want to live out our lives doing what we want to do, and being grateful for our time together.
3. How does your family feel about your being childfree? Do you get any pushback?
I don't think anyone was surprised I never had children. As I said, from an early age I knew it wasn't my path and I was pretty outspoken about it. My brother and his ex-partner have four children together so that took the sting out for anyone needing a baby fix.
4. How does being childfree affect your friendships?
Almost all of my closest friends are childfree, so I would dare say my friendships are deeper and stronger than if we were all busy with kids. We're not sitting around talking about how tired we are, or struggling to find time to hang out because this one has this or that practice or recital. We regularly get together for hikes, BBQs, concerts, golf, whatever — and have regular meaningful conversations about life, travel, and politics. Now, do we complain about the odd backache, or menopause... yes. Yes, we do.
5. What role, if any, do children play in your life? Would you like them to play a bigger or smaller role?
I have a very close friend and her husband who have two children that I love so much. They're a hoot and I really have fun when we're together. They're in the early teen years, which to me is awesome. They're finding out who they are, but also have been raised to be such confident and kind people. I wish I could see them more, but they're out on the west coast, so we visit about once a year.
I don't know why but I genuinely enjoy teenagers — the moodier the better. They delight me!
6. Is there anything you feel like you’re missing out on by choosing not to have children, even though you don’t regret your decision?
I definitely don't regret my decisions, but things like teaching someone to tie their shoes, or learning to walk. There's something truly sweet about that stuff.
7. What are the benefits to your decision to remain childfree?
Let me count the freakin' ways! First, we have more disposable income, more free time, more energy, more adventure, more fun! But also being able to focus on my own journey and my own needs in this wild ride of life and those I choose to love and cherish.
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